Breathe on Me

well another year has passed ... my bday is march 24th cant wait so excited ive invited the slect few that i thought would be good together...yay fun times are to come
stay tuned
chris

we go deep and we dont get no sleep cuz we'd b up all nite till early light
im feelin high cuz im outta control tnite....feeling high but dont wanna stop
....thats my lil song blurb for the day ....hahah today was eventfull i was a total house wife ......i cleaned did laundry and made jigs dinner for the love of my life haha .....all i need is the boobs and an apron and im ready for marriage LOL.....im here now at like 11 30 at nite bored and decided to change the look of my journal and add a few pics of me n the boi incase u havent seen him.......sum cute isnt he....
i have one thing i need to vent tho and i hope he reads this but a close friend of mine made me feel like shit for being with josh and said that im makin a mistake and that we will not last.....ya well u r wrong and i cant wait till my wedding day so i can rub ur face in this .....im not a stupid fuck i woodnt be engaged with sumone unless i knew he was the one .......hears a lil sumtin else.....lik my fuckin crack bitch!
ciao to all those lovers....fuck off to all the haters...
love chris

well this entry maybe short but sweet.......if yall havent heard already ....im living with my finace....yea thats right i said it finace......we are engaged.....his name is joshua and i love him more then life itself ......i feel like ive known him my whole life...and woodnt want to spend the rest of my days on this earth with anyone else .....he makes my day night ..my year my everything!!!!!words cant describe how great he makes me feel!.....it was fate.....
ive been tanning at planet beach for 3 years now and the manager set us up on a blind date..since then we have been connected at the hip....lol who wood of thought that id find love ina tanning salon ..... if ur single and want a man just go to planet beach LMAO that should be their new advertisment ...anyway back to the marriage part...... our wedding will be aug 17 2007.......keep that date open cuz ur all invited!!!!!!
our apt is in mount pearl and its the cutest apt ever!!!! *loves*
im still werkin for *&^%$#!@s (LOL)....i just moved to the mount pearl location ......
thats really all the new news that i have for now but il def update this journal once ina while
love u all
miss u guys:D.....
love christopher Star

I watch you,
And the way you move,
You like to,
So dress the groove,
If I could,
I would dance with you,
See me watching baby,
So damn stuck on you



Let me tell ya,
You got me,
Youre all I think of,
Over and over,
Its crazy,
Cant seem to shake it off,
When I see ya,
I burn off,
Its like a sickness,
I got to find me a sweet relation,

Although, youre all I wanted,
Like it,
I find no strength to,
Make you,
Want me like I want you,
So until that time,

I watch you,
And the way you move,
You like to,
So dress the groove,
If I could,
I would dance with you,
See me watching baby,
So damn stuck on you.

hey yall...
well its the 23rd of december...creppy...very creppy!!!!dont feel like xmas...even tho i hate this time of year i hope yall have a great christmas...lol
cant wait till new years its gonna b fun/....not much is diff or new....cept i saw marla (Rickie) downtown i drove by...hi rickie lol
i have a crush on this boi ..he likes me back...:D...hes my date for new years yay.....thats all for now ttyl

chase faded days
with eyes that cannot see
i wanna feel it again
washing over me
discover all of you
one moment at a time
taste smell secret cell
your soul it touchs mine

i wanna feel up
hope knows i need it this way
like im walking on clouds
i cant come down
even if you wanted me to
i cant come down
even if you wanted me to

no one can stop me
im never satisfied
i take what i want refuse to be denied
live in the moment
the future can disguise
its starting to touch us
but i still cant touch the sky

i need to feel up
hope knows i need it this way
like im walking on clouds
i cant come down
even if you wanted me to
i cant come down
even if u wanted me to

....ive been craving the club sceen...hot bois dancing around ..and the rush of good extacy......il be downtown next saturday ...lol im calling it disco better....seein how last weekend was supposed to be disco...but ended up passing out b4 downtown lol so ....see everyone at the zone n liquid next saturday @!!!!!!!
chris

well once again i stayed home ona fuckin saturday...i had bought a new outfit ..i had gotten my ahir done and i had bought booze....i was goin to get loaded adn go downtown ...everytime i plan to do this ..... i passs out ..i drink to much .... i get sick ...and end up bein to yukky to go downtown ...well i had lots of reasons to go out .... i was invited to birthday bash 2005....it was lisas bday ..wee been planning this for the last 7 weeks.....id just like to say sorry to everyone ...i really wanted to go down..:( ....in other news ..my sis lives with me now...yup thats right ,,, she was homeless so we took her in ,,,, its the wierdest thing ever we havent lived under the same roof in about 10 years....its gonna take sum time to adjust.....im still single ...still werkin my crappy job ...still smoking weed ...and still in newfoundland.....hope to see u all soon ...if i ever get out of this rutt!

hello everybody
its been a while since an entry has been made! so i thought id make a nice quick one telling you all that im still alive and in newfoundland....lol many of u seem to think i have moved again ..i dunno why lol but i promise you im still in crappy st johns!
my life is still boring as ever ..im still workin at %^$&%$&^% 5:30 am mon-fri every week lol..i finally have the net back in my room ....woot..im even allowed to go on gay.com now lol..nazi nana aproves hahah
still boyless..but meh boys are gross so im happy....
thats all for now sorry this is so boring !!!! luvs ya all
chris D

You can call me a sinner
But you can't call me a saint
Celebrate me for who I am
Dislike me for what I ain't
Put me up on a pedestal
Or drag me down in the dirt
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But your names will never hurt

I'll be the garden, you'll be the snake
All of my fruit is yours to take
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cause I'm never gonna stop, no no

Cleopatra had her way
Matahari too
Whether they were good or bad
Is strictly up to you

Life is a paradox
And it doesn't make much sense
Can it be filled without the router?
Please don't take offense

Don't let the fruit rot under the vine
Fill up your cup and let's drink the wine
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cause I'm never gonna stop, no no, you know
This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cause I'm never gonna stop, no no, you know

No no, you know
No no, you know
No no, you know
No no, you know

I'll be the garden, you'll be the snake
All of my fruit is yours to take
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because

This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cause I'm never gonna stop, no no, you know
This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cause I'm never gonna stop, no no, you know

No no, you know
No no, you know
No no, you know
No no, you know

hey there this cant b long but it sure will b sweet!!!! well im sure uve all heard im movin back to toronto on the 5th of july...i cant wait woooot so much fun !!!!!! im werkin hard as ever at mc D's i know its sad but hey its givin me lots of money so i can spend it in toronto with all the cute bois heehe ..my last nite at the zone will b the 2nd of july ihope to see u guys there if not then i luv ya and good bye .......in other news my sister is missing ...shes off bein a crack addict sumwhere in mount pearl i guess.....oh my !!!!!! anyway guess thats all to write ....for everyone else who reads this from toronto il see ya in 10 days bye
love u all
christopher star

hey there just a quick entry ..im dying witht the flu and i werk at the shittiest place on earth but its all good a job is a job and money is money.... i have 59 days b4 im on another plane out of here...tiem to start over once again.....anywho downtown this weekend is goin to rock !!!1 lol whose goin??????
anyway rickey and mikey lol i saw u on saturday sorry i wasnt able to come out nazi nanna is home lol shes nice now tho lol
anyway loves ya all cyas

hey yall
not much i goin on round here just waitin patiently for june to arrive.. i got a job interview tmorrow and i really hope i get it its full time and pays more then my job now........my bday weekend was a blast i never had so much fun in my life and lemme tell u .....i was fucked ....lol oh my good times......thanks to all that came and participated in the bday extravaganza....
theres no real big changes in my love life at the moment im kinda stuck in limbo ..its annoying ....altho i met an incredibly cute boi at liquid but of course hes from cape breton...argh why is it no local bois wanna have a go at me lol ......im kinda crushing on someone right now and i know i shouldnt be but its hard not to ...i need someone to slap me and wake me up from this stupid love rut that im in.........hmmm hot boi sittin in front of me ....hhehehe oops sorry ....oh im gettin my eyebrow repierced this friday anyone wanna come i need a boi to hold my hand when i get it done ...any takers lol anyway im bored i have nothign else to right and im sure ppl dont want me just ranting on so ttyl
love yall
christopher star

March 24th 2004 was a very big night in my life. i had just turned 19 and i was in my first real relationship at the time i wasnt the most liked person in st johns . this was because of certain people ruining my name for no good reason. it was then that i realilized in teh gay world everyone is guilty till proven innocent. it was that night i had come to the conclusion that i had to change peoples opinions of me. i decided to let people see the real me by showing how i felt on the outside how i eflt on the inside.
so that night my boyfriend brad celebrated my bday at the zone adn liquid ice ...the whole night i was there i felt like an outsider ..if brad wasnt there with me id be completly alone. the whole time i was there i was aware of peoples dislike for me. i know how they all felt but i was determined to change their perceptions of me. that nite iwas a nite of many firsts for me.. it was the first time i was in a relationship with a boy and it was the first time i had done extacy. om the following year these 2 things played a major part in my growth. that first night downtown was a little disapointing. but it did help me realilize that i couldnt let what others thought of me let ruin what could be. o had to say fuck em and just learn to be comfortable with who i was . i was determined to belong but on my own terms it was going to be done my way or no way .. i was gona let my inner diva show whether or not my so called friends liked it or not . and you know what it worked ..not only did i feel comfprtable dressing up in cloths that i had made myself but i had created my own unique style. i had adopted the star as my own personla symbol to show who i was at that time in my life. eventually the star becamse my trademark adn it later became a part of my identity . after a while everyone downtown knew me as "star" since then it was been kind of a nickname.
as the months went by and i started going out more and more peoples opinions of me had changed. they started takin time out to get to know me and not what they were told about me. even my attitude had changedo was no longer the shy insecure new boi i was more confident and comfrtable in my own skin. i did however take a break shortly after april . i had found a nwe love adn wanted to work on that relationship. my new boyfriend helped me mature and put things into persepective. unfortunatly in august that relationship ended and my heart was broken!!!!!!!
after my relationship had ended i was unaware of why we had broken up. i found myself puttin al the blame on me. for the first time in a long time i had started stresing over what people had thought of me i had felt that my body image was unattractive due to a comment my ex boyfriend had made which was " im not attracted to you anymore". this comment had set me into a depression which lead to an eating disorder. i thought if i was thinner then maybe he or others would be attracted to me. i had totally lost what i was all about and secome to makin others happy rather then being true to myself!
during all of this i was thankful for the support of friends i had made downtown. it was then that i had felt truely accepted. each friend helped me in a different way and made me realilize that i was not alone for the first time in my life. even though all teh support helped i still felt heart broken and wanted to just egt away from it all. so i made a very rash descsion to move to toronto . i knew there was a big gay sceene there and i had friends in the area so i bought a ticket for october 24th. in the weeks leading up to my departure i felt i had to go out with a bang! i wanted to be remembered. o wamted tp show how grateful i was to all my friends for their support and friendship.
my last night at liquid ice adn duh zone was october 16th. almost everyone was there and it especially meant alot to me that rickey adn geln who couldnt make it drove down to just say good bye.!!!!that night was incredibly emotional and as i had hoped it went out with a bang. as i left the clubs i ad a feeling that i would never see the clubs or the people in them again! the week after that went incredibly fast and before i knew it i was in toronto. i enjoyed the city immensly buut it was so different from what i was used to as different as it wasi finally felt at ease adn felt that i could finally settle down...but it was to much to fast i wasnt as prepared as i should of been. at this time my drug addiction got a little out of hand . i used drugs as a way to cover up my problems rather then solving them .. i wasnt completly over the relationship i had just got out of. i didnt want to seem weak so everyday i put ona fake smile to cover up my unhappiness. so less thenthree months later i had hit rock bottom and everything just came out all at once...i needed to be in a fimiliar place to work on the problems rather then supress them.
friday january 14th i had arrived home adn already had plans to go out the next night.. not many people knew i was home and i was excited to surprise them. saturday night was from then on known as my comeback night...that night was awesome my outfit represented who i had become in toronto and showed off a mroe grown up me..peoples reactions were great and the compliments i recieved made me feel that everythign i had went through the past year was worth it.
i thank everyone for making that night the best night of my life... i made alot of great friends and alot of great memories were had ...il never forget them...ever!!!!
since that night i have been downtown a couple times and once again new friends were made. now my 2oth birthday after a long year of discovery i feel that im at a point in my life where i dont need an outfir to show who i am ..so starting this saturday i will b celebrating my bday and the one year anniversary of chnage i decided to cange my stlye once again but my attitude and personality will of course remain the same . i want to thank all of you.. i am a better person because of you and im grateful for your friendship. i would also liek to thank the person who dragged my name through the dirt ..if it wasnt for you i woudlnt be who i am today.......
with that being said LETS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


people id liek to thank: rickie, glen steve tyler tyrel josh adam k patrick todd cory julia shannond ronnie michael g michael s mandi cindy lisa brad danny shane shawn martell jeff ashley chantelle evan james kelly jazz telly joey m byron colin elaine sue dianna peter jamie jesse niki david manny venessa tracey crystle anne maria and ashleigh

Oh round here we ridin slow we keep it gutta you should know gettin crunk off in tha club we gets low oh oh OH......hey yall that a lil tid bit from my nw song OH by ciara ,,,,,,,, im just writing in this again cuz im bored im at lisas house i burnt off a deadly cd adn im here chillin out with lisa and her adorable sister whose have troubles with boys...god damn str8 boys bein mean to her lets all gang up and beat him up ok .....anyway im outty again this entry really was pointless but im bored

money success fame glamour..we are living in the age of the thing ..party monster
christopher star

CHARMER....

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

well faithful readers ....lol i mean all muh peeps at the zone lol ive had a wierd little week...lots of family drama .....my family are way to homophobic for my liking.....and im to gay for thier liking ....oh well .....anyway my birthday is approaching ....thats right saturday is soon on its way ...time to get fucked up and b a bad boi ...thast right boi is the oppertive word imgoin to look like a boi woooot lol no more gurlie cloths for me .....hahah anywho lol im now at mun once again and their are way to many hot bois for me to handle .....
you may b wondering why my tittle is what it is ...its because i was walking thru the uc when my ex bfs current bf walked right in front of me we both stopped and i was there just staring with my mouth open ...i didnt expect it ...it kinda caught me off gaurd as soon as i saw the lil bitch i wanted to beat his big head in ...i know its mean but i really dont like that kid ...not cuz im jealous cuz i know thats what ur all thinking but thats not the case i just dislike that boi immensly oh well enough about that wretched boi.....i have to shout out to my friend cindy ...my thoughts are with u hun ...we will get thru this and il see u this summer ilove u sweetie ...my lil pooface xoxoxox
so i have started my new work out regiment its hard and grueling but i needs a hot bod ...........anyway i think thats it i havet o go now bye lovers
christopher star

You hate not to love but you hate to fall in love.
You can't help but sigh when you see to people
kiss in the park and all. You don't like to go
over board and believe in a small steady
relationship at first so that it can grow. You
also like to think that you can have that kiss
that puts you into a portal and you can't get
back until he/she stops.


How much do you love? GOOD PICS
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a School Boy Kiss!! you're a deprived
catholic school boy who needs some action...
don't get caught in the locker room!


What kind of Hot Boy Kiss are you??
brought to you by Quizilla

hehe oh i forgot hehe e...i finally have a crush on sumone yay me...its been a while but i finally got me a boi to crush on lol